Category: Homotextual

In the Flesh’s Reading Series

Homotextual #9: Hold On, April 20th


In the typing of this introduction many cigarettes were smoked. In the Flesh does not smoke, but bought a pack when it got locked outside of a friend’s apartment and all there was to do was sit on an orange crate and wait outside the building chainsmoking. That is what In the Flesh did. It waited, and looking cool made the waiting more bearable.

The difficulty with HOLDING ON is that it is about being stuck, or it is about not knowing, about trusting without evidence that trust is what’s called for. It is waiting for her to come back on the telephone, it is Wile E. Coyote running in mid-air. Lately, In the Flesh has been wondering: How do you forge ahead when there seems no clear way forward? How do you know when to cut your losses or re-double your efforts?
In the Flesh has a hunch that HOLDING ON comes down, not to truth, but to desire. We hold on to ideas, to things, to people, because we want what they represent to us to be true. Holding on can be an act of jealousy, of purest love, of fear, of deception, or simply, blindness. Sometimes we are rewarded, and sometimes we are punished, but we have no way of knowing in the moment of holding on itself.
Chicano writer José Villarreal writes, “All I can tell you is that you should have faith for the present, and when the time comes when you feel you do not need the belief, the doubts will help you discard it, forgetting the friend it once was to you.”

Come to In the Flesh at the Bureau and hear what contributors have to say about how they held on, how it shook them, and how it shook out.

Greg from the Bureau with Ella and Erica.
Lovely Emily.

Erica Cardwell is a queer romantic, educator, and activist. Recently, she served as co-organizer for an anti-violence week of action called, POC Rising– an intercultural, multi-gendered alliance within the platform of Vday’s One Billion Rising campaign. Check it out at – Her most recent essay on phonics and feelings entitled, victory,appeared in The Feminist Wire, in January of 2013. Erica lives in the land of make believe in Astoria, Queens. Follow her @theomnivorous

Ella Boureau is a writer, teacher and translator living in New York, Marseille and her own twisted little mind. She runs the monthly reading series and online magazine In the Flesh. She also has a reputation for turning people gay with her presence, at least temporarily. So if you weren’t before, you will be now!

Emily Skillings is a dancer poet poet dancer. She earned her BA from The New School in 2010.  Recent poetry can be read in Bone Bouquet,LingerpostStonecutterLa Fovea, and Maggy. Skillings dances with Saifan Shmerer, the A.O. Movement Collective and The Commons Choir (Daria Faïn and Robert Kocik). She lives in Brooklyn, where she is a member of the Belladonna* Collaborative, a feminist poetry collective and event series. She is a co-curator of the Brooklyn reading series HOT TEXTS with Krystal Languell. In March 2012, she co-organized the festival HOW TO CONTINUE: John Ashbery Across the Arts at The New School with Adam Fitzgerald and Robert Polito.

Homotextual #8: Transitional Life, March 16th

Ariel, Ella, Aldrin and Hana.
Maybe you’ve just moved to a new city and are staying with your cousin in his one bedroom at the exact moment that he and his girlfriend are trying to get pregnant and you are frequently asked to leave the apartment because she is ovulating. “No problem. So, I’ll just step out for a half hour or so?”Or perhaps you’ve started a temp job in Midtown and find yourself staring into a bowl of beernuts at PJ Moran’s with your co-workers, seriously considering going home with Awkward John, just to confirm your lesbianhood once and for all.

OR Maybe you finally worked up the nerve to wear those new stockings and short skirt out in public, and you notice there is a tiny hole in the stockings and how could that be possible because you just bought them so you are too busy being upset about that damn hole and how it could have gotten there to be nervous about whether you pass or not.

It’s a tricky business starting something new, and the force of change often pushes us into bed with strange fellows. Sometimes literally. The phrase “How did I get here” was made for such times, and at this month’s ITF you will hear ALL about those sweaty moments that helped our readers get them to where they are.

Join us at The Bureau for General Services- Queer Division on Saturday March 16th at 7:30 PM.
For more about The Bureau:

Readings will begin ON TIME


Ariel “Speedwagon” Federow- is a performer whose work has been seen on Broadway, Lafayette, Chrystie, East 4th Street, Fulton, Vanderbilt, and other streets and avenues around New York City. She blogs for and Velvet Park, was once Miss Jew-S-A, spent her youth as a ballerina, and can be tracked down at

Erica Cardwell- is a queer romantic, educator, and activist. Recently, she served as co-organizer for an anti-violence week of action called, POC Rising– an intercultural, multi-gendered alliance within the platform of Vday’s One Billion Rising campaign. Check it out at – Her most recent essay on phonics and feelings entitled, victory, appeared in The Feminist Wire, in January of 2013. Erica lives in the land of make believe in Astoria, Queens. Follow her @theomnivorous. You can also read more of her work

Aldrin Valdez- is an artist and writer who grew up in Manila and Long Island. He studied painting and writing at Pratt Institute and the School of Visual Arts. Aldrin’s writing has been published in Art:21 Blog, The Brooklyn Rail, BRIC Contemporary Art, Art Slant, and In the Flesh. He is a 2011-2012 Queer/Art/Mentorship fellow. Along with artist Ted Kerr, he organizes Foundational Sharing, a salon of performances, readings, and visual

Homotextual #7: Love Positive Women, February 15th

 The thought of Valentine’s Day getting you down? Us too. 

Around this season of love, NYC splits into two decisive camps:

1.The candy-lovin’, heart-on-the-sleeve wearin’, de-thorned rose givin’, lacy craft makin torch holders of hetero-romance.
2. The angry, spiteful, lonely, depressed, vengeful cynics who say “Fuck love. pass me that Dario Argento dvd”.

What about the rest of us? Those of us who think love is something worth celebrating, but frankly, don’t want to be icky and boring about it?
This year In the Flesh and Visual AIDS invite you to take part in LOVE POSITIVE WOMEN: Romance Starts at Home. The International Community of Women Living with HIV’s initiative is a weeklong celebration of positive women where you are encouraged to show your love for positive women, or if you are positive, how you will love yourself better.

On February 15th, In the Flesh’s monthly reading series will be devoted to positive women + allies and their stories on love.
Come hear us at The Bureau!

Homotextual #6: Mutate – Friday, January 18th at BGSQD

203473_367491110013454_1370693327_n  Mutation is a principle of imperfect copying. Our DNA contains instructions on both how to build a new life and on how to mutate, including what can mutate, how it mutates, how big the change is and how often mutation occurs. This instruction itself is also subject to mutation.
Some organisms mutate much faster than others. The common cold, for example, mutates at such a rate that it has proved difficult to find a cure. Are queers like the common cold? Are we adapting faster than we can be defined?

Come find out on Friday January 18th, 7:30pm @ the Bureau.

Below are the Madames of Mutation:

Heather M Acs is a theatre/performance artist, activist, curator, educator and high-femme troublemaker. Her work has been featured in festivals, theatres, galleries, conferences, and universities across the U.S., Canada, and Europe. She is the Co-Producer of the Heels on Wheels Glitter Roadshow-a group that tours annually and creates performance-based cultural works and community events showcasing queer artists of all genders on a femme-inine spectrum, now in its fourth year. Heels on Wheels also hosts a monthly salon series in Brooklyn called the Opentoe Peepshow: Revealing New Work by Queer Artists. [] Film credits include Building No. 7, dir. Steven Soderbergh; blink, dir. Silas Howard;; Valencia (the movies): Chapter 9 based on the novel by Michelle Tea; and most recently, Sunset Stories, an official 2012 South by Southwest Selection. Heather is also a dedicated teaching artist, using theatre as a tool for social change with low-income youth in NYC public schools for over a

Damien Luxe is a Brooklyn-based queer femme liberationist artist, digital technologist, community organizer and activist who produces and performs political and participatory multimedia works at galleries, cabarets, festivals and literary events all over the US and Canada. D’Luxe’s work as a performer blurs lines between the body and communities, activism and art, and science and story. Her recent major works include: Exorcize, a satirical and serious healing aerobics program for all bodies; Hot Pink Mass, a church service for queers, perverts and ne’er-do-wells that invokes the femme deity Trisha; and Femmes Fight Back, an interactive installation honoring queer herstories and resisting the State.

Kelli Dunham ( is everyone’s favorite ex-nun genderqueer nerd comic. Kelli was one of Velvet Park Magazine’s 25 Significant Queer Women of 2011 and was named to the 2012 Campus Pride Hotlist. Kelli was also given the The Fresh Fruit Festival Award for Distinction in stand-up comedy, although Kelli has never before or since been called distinguished. Kelli is the author of four books of humorous non-fiction, including two children’s books being used by Sonlight conservative home schooling association in their science curriculum. Her fifth book, Freak of Nurture, a collection is humorous essays is being released by Topside Press in Spring 2013.
Kelli was recently the expert on “What Is Normal” in the teenybopper periodical Twist, on a page facing a full color poster of Justin Beiber. There isn’t even a ironic statement to match that, it’s just strangely true.

Homotextual #5: Ugly – Tuesday, December 19th

Annex - Leigh, Janet (Psycho)_01 Ugly has no alibi. Ugly roams the earth alone. Ugly awakes one morning from uneasy dreams. Ugly has homosexual tendencies. Ugly ate the whole thing and isn’t sorry. Ugly has emotional whatever. Ugly will tell you it wants everything. Ugly likes to leer at small children. Ugly is always unrequited, self-excited and tries to hide it. Ugly killed him once and would do it again. Ugly knew about it the whole time but didn’t say anything. Ugly resents Guilt, but sucks up to her at parties. Ugly is a freak, a martyr and a thief. Finally, Ugly will never forgive you. Ever.

In the Flesh was Ugly in high school. Now we are only Ugly on the inside.

Come catch a glimpse of Ugly on Wednesday, December 19th at the Bureau (currently housed in the Strange Loop Gallery).